Chapter 14: 5 Men I’d leave my man for…

So, for everyone NOT in Cape Town its been some miserable wet weather. What makes it worse is that some of us aren’t even getting laid in this here crap weather, so, for all my Hos & Homos here is a winter warmer in the middle of summer *rolls eyes*.

I love Men with Accents! And the American Southern Accent is just delectable which explains why 3 of these 5 men are Southern Gentlemen…  And none are South African.  Obviously. *duhh shrugs*

#5: Ryan Reynolds

I first fell in love with this Canadian Hottie in Blade Trinity… before this film he was scrawny and pale. Then, he got buff & tanned! *whistles*. Since then he’s gotten hotter. He is the reason why I watched The Proposal at the cinema. I wanted to see all that fineness in HD!

#4: T.I.

TI is EVERYTHING ur momma told and warned you to stay away from! EVERYTHING!!! He’s charming in a thuggish way (that Why U Wanna song). The way he says “ya’ll got hotwings” in Whatever You Like video, I love me a man who loves wings. & the way he lays his heart out in Get Back Up *aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh*. But he gets me with his smile!

But… he been to prison and has baby Mammas! *sigh* But that smile! *melts*

#3: Matthew McConaughey

I give this man permission to claim success of any and every RomCom he has acted in- he has single handedly made every film he’s in success cos of that Texan swang, that pearly white smile and those washboard abs! *fans myself* oooohhhhhhhhhhhh chiiiiiiiild! And im a sucker for curly blonde hair.

#2: Idris Elba

This man of a man had me convinced that he was American. His accent in Daddys Little Girls was flawless! But no, he is a British DemiGod! If I ever lost my groove and went to Jamaica or America, Mr Elba is the kind of man I wud want to help me get it back! Rememba Salt n Peppas What A Man? Don’t u just envision Idris being the perfect prototype of that man?!

#1: Trey Songz

Baaaaaaaaaaaaabbyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

This. Is. My. Man. Where do I start? Ok, talent. Mr Neverson just released his 4^th studio album Passion, Pain, Pleasure. Is that not reason enuf? Second, he’s actually talented- he also realises much lyk Bey & Shakira that his body is also an instrument & therefore uses it in his work. Frankly, I wud play that all nyt long! He’s versatile with his collabs and work-  he raps ya’ll!

But, baq 2 his looks… Trey has worked very hard to get his body where it is ryt now, lyk Ryan. he Southern lyk TI & Matt. His chest is the perfect place to cry & lay on. His arms can keep u warm in all that cuddley goodness. His stomach is the ish Verimark ab machines are moulded to. Those dingeses that lead to his crotch make me wanna mount & whooooh, TMI, my bad. Uhm, ya hey. Trey…